Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
