Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
