Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
