Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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