All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
whose parrot is this?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
