My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
