I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize