Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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