need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think my fart just growled at me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
