i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
