brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
