Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
