Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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