idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
