I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize