just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
are you so shy because you have an std?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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