i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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