Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize