in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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