new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
