I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
