She's JV to your varsity
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
