I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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