So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
