I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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