i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
