yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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