Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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