quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Text me some of your sweat
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
