we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
