I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
