Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
