Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
