She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize