I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Less talking, more tequila
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
