I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
