I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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