just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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