You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize