I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
