i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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