You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
