Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
