I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
third nipple confirmed
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
