Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
