real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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