You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
