You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize