i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
