Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
how does that bad decision feel?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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