everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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