I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
