Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
did i just pee glitter
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
