these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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