Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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