this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
