If that was your dad, he is hot
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
