I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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