Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
birth control should be required to get into college
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
