He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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