As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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