for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
