how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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