She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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