it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Alive.
So much puke
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
