I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
