just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
whose parrot is this?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
