I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
