So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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