3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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