Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
