If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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